family, life – update

Thanks for all the kind responses to my post about my mother’s infirmity. She is doing somewhat better and still hopes to improve more.  She does not want to make drastic changes in her life (like acquiring a permanent housemate-helper) until she figures out what her long term prospects are.  It looks like a good situation may be developing, at least for the short run.  My mother’s neighbor actually did this kind of care on a free lance basis in her previous community and is hoping to build a clientele in her new area.  She and her husband have repeatedly offered to do things for my mother for free, as good neighbors, but she is also happy to be paid to come by a couple of times a day to do the relatively easy jobs as well as the more challenging jobs, such as assisting with showers.  Because she lives next door, she does not need to insist on minimum shifts of four hours, as the services do, and she takes the whole wage herself, instead of splitting it with a management firm, so the cost per hour to my mother is lower and the pay to the caregiver herself is higher.  They have said all along that they were willing to be called in the middle of the night if needed.  My sister is also talking to another person, recently retired, about being a backup person and someone else to come out for a few hours a week for companionship and to help with errands and small chores. This option was in the air when I was there, but the neighbor was sick and so staying away to avoid infecting my mother.  Caregiver illness is one of the reasons there has to be more than one person in the system.  There are liability insurance, taxes and other issues still to be checked into.  But it’s looking like things might work out.

Author: olderwoman

I'm a sociology professor but not only a sociology professor. I keep my name out of this blog because I don't want my name associated with it in a Google search. Although I never write anything in a public forum like a blog that I'd be ashamed to have associated with my name (and you shouldn't either), it is illegal for me to use my position as a public employee to advance my religious or political views, and the pseudonym helps to preserve the distinction between my public and private identities. The pseudonym also helps to protect the people I may write about in describing public or semi-public events I've been involved with. You can read about my academic work on my academic blog --Pam Oliver

2 thoughts on “family, life – update”

  1. I’m so glad to hear it, O-Dub. It sounds like a good foundation for a care plan, anyway, and it sounds acceptable to your mother, which is really good.

  2. It sounds like you’ve found something that works well for everyone right now, and there’s plenty of room for the necessary fluidity in the future. I hope this is letting you breathe a little easier, particularly since it feels more comfortable for your mother than a stranger likely would.

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