There’s the case in Sweden with baby Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116

Wiki page here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116

I just heard last night that in Germany, once you’ve chosen a baby’s name, you have to register it with – the office of records? – and wait to see if it gets rejected. All sorts of interesting politics going on there, eh?

Who comes up with this crap? I could see some reasoning if it was illegal for all, but to differentiate based on gender? Ugh.

Personally, I’m for people keeping their names, although I do think that if the couple has children figuring out how to name them poses a challenge.

We are about to move to Germany, where it is illegal for men to hyphenate their last names.

“California and some 40 other US states provided no place on the marriage licence application, and driving licence, for the groom to choose the bride’s surname.”

They also note a couple who was denied a birth certificate for their child b/c they wanted to give it the mother’s last name, and a 2004 Pennsylvania decision to not allow a child to have a hyphenated last name: apparently, having just your dad’s name is in your best interest.

Do you really feel that’s how it is? I think there remains tons of pressure on women to change their names. I also don’t think it’s become trivial for men to change their names, but I don’t know of specific recent stories (because I don’t know of any men who’ve tried to change their names).

I find the comment in #20 fascinating from an academic. I figure last name is huge given all of the issues mentioned by OW in the original post. Plus the focus on first names reminds me of some lines in You’ve Got Mail, which I hope won’t come across as offensive, but this was really the first thing to come to mind as I read #20 above:

Kathleen Kelly to Joe Fox: “‘Joe. Just call me Joe.’ As if you were one of those stupid 22-year-old girls with no last name. ‘Hi, I’m Kimberley.’ ‘Hi, I’m Janice.’ What’s wrong with them? Don’t they know you’re supposed to have a last name? It’s like they’re a whole generation of cocktail waitresses.”

Apologies if I’m misunderstanding focus on the first name.

my partner and i both changed our names to his middle name when we married (a last name that had been dead in his family for 100 years). it solved the kid naming problem and felt equitable to both of us — it also helped that his original last name was really unfortunate. it was actually his idea but his family remains unconvinced of this and we often get mail addressed to Mr. and Mrs. His Old Last Name (I don’t expect Dr. to show up in there anytime soon).

Because his middle name was a last name, you wouldn’t notice we did anything unconventional if i didn’t tell you. i don’t tell many people (who cares?) but i find that i tend to share it with female colleagues — perhaps I am trying to shore up my feminist street cred? Don’t know what I would do in the event of divorce, but i suspect i would keep it since it feels as much mine as his (and the publication problem is a big deal).

sidepoint: my name change was easy in the context of the wedding ceremony but my partner had to do it legally prior to the wedding with a hearing, judge, two witnesses, and MANY questions about why he was doing it.

My partner and I both changed our names when we married to his middle name (his middle name was a last name that had been dead in his family for 100 years). We liked it because it solved the ‘what will the kid’s name be’ problem as well as that it felt like an equitable solution for both of us — it also helped that his original last name was really unfortunate. The name switch was also his idea — though his father’s side of the family remains unconvinced of this and we still get mail to Mr. and Mrs. His Old Last Name (I don’t expect the Dr. title to show up in there anytime soon either).

Because his middle name was a last name, you’d never know we did anything ‘unconventional.’ This isn’t something I tell people very often (who cares, right?), but I notice that I do tend to tell it to female colleagues at some point — I must be doing this to enhance my feminist street cred?

Sidenote: My name was easy to change in conjunction with the wedding ceremony. My husband, however, in order to invert his middle and last names had to do so in court (and with two witnesses and a relatively long hearing with all sorts of questions about WHY he was doing this). The wedding ceremony form in our state didn’t have a space for a groom name change.

My point here was that I don’t buy this argument (I’ve heard it before, it’s not new to me). While originally her name may have come through her father, after 20-30 years, it has become HER own name, presumably. That’s very different from suddenly switching to another name and starting anew with another identity (well, not to suggest that all of one’s identity is out the window with a name change).

I think it’s more complicated with women in their 50s and 60s who changed their names to their husbands’ when they were in their 20s. At that point it was so much taken-for-granted that it required much more to go against that norm than it does today (not to say that it’s trivial today).

If the person was so concerned about the patriarchal lineage of her name in the first place then she could’ve just switched her name to her mother’s maiden name (by the way, likely also a father’s name at some point, how far do we go back?). I knew someone who’d done this. She’d had a bad relationship with her father and didn’t want to share the name.

All that said, I would never do what is mentioned in #15. I do respect people’s decisions and will go along with what they choose for themselves. I just don’t like the particular reasoning mentioned in #2. (I also don’t like the following: “I wanted his family to know they meant a lot to me” suggesting that her family didn’t want to be meant a lot to the husband.)

Personally, I think the trickiest part is how to name the children if the couple’s planning on having any. I appreciate that women want to have the same name as their kids (and often parents want their kids to have the same last name) and that’s not so obvious depending on the situation. (Yes, I also don’t think it should be default that kids get their father’s last name.)

I’ve heard this before, but don’t get it. At age 15-20-25-30 the person still thinks of it as her father’s name rather than her own name? Curious.